In Nicola Slee’s observations on multiple overwhelmings (see previous blogs) she suggests three ways of looking at the experience: Immersion, Tension and Attention. Immersion - Lose yourself in the experience Some years ago David experienced a bout of depression brought on by overwhelmings arising in a number aspects of his life at that time. The biggest lesson he learned was that whilst ever he tried to stay in control well-being was going to elude him. The more he tried to be in control of events, the more he failed and the worse he felt. It seemed very counter-intuitive but it was through learning to let go - scary as that was - that well-being came. As Julie often says, “You have to let go to let come.” In OD circles we talk about ‘leaning into’ experiences so as to learn from them. Of course there is a balance, David guides: “Lean in, but don’t fall in!” Tension - Work with the interplays between overwhelmings In response to the second Blog in this series someone tweeted a very helpful example to illustrate this metaphor: parenting a young child. Childbirth in and of itself can be overwhelming in both a traumatic and an immensely joyful way. The overwhelming some new mothers experience can lead to post-natal depression. Early years parenting (or, in our case, grandparenting!) can bring the multiple overwhelmings of sleep deprivation, first-steps / developmental joys, perpetual anxiety over your child’s we’ll-being and safety….and the list goes on. We are not sure that the notion of a ‘successful parent’ is a helpful one but certainly the ‘good enough parent’ (see work of Winnicott and Bowlby) is one who manages the tensions and interplays of the multiple overwhelmings parenting brings. Attention - Attend to the totality of possibilities and choices…and focus As we write this, discussion is taking place about the ‘When and How’ of lifting the Covid-19 lockdown, although this obviously isn’t going to be any time soon. We do not envy those entrusted with eventually making this decision as timing is crucial. There is a wicked interplay of factors. Primary is ensuring the NHS is not overwhelmed and avoidable deaths are minimised. But alongside this are the economic effects of a protracted lockdown leading to a serious downturn or even depression - themselves realities that will bring further hardship, suffering and shortened lives. Finally, there are issues of mental health. As David observed during his prison work, confinement is especially detrimental to those who have suffered childhood trauma or other forms of anxiety. As the restrictions extend there will undoubtedly be an upturn in breakdowns and suicides. Few of us can affect much of these things but that is not the same as not being able to do anything. In each moment ask yourself, “What one thing can I do now that might make some difference?” Go for a walk (social-distancing)? Write a poem (or journal) to process how you are feeling? Phone a friend or elderly relative? Do some productive work? Whilst you have the agency to make choices the overwhelmings are not paralysing you. The many images we see of frontline NHS staff on wards battling against the effects of the virus show them focussing on the one important thing at a time. This is not to say they don’t feel overwhelmed - of course they do. But we guess if they stopped and let it all overwhelm them, they would buckle. Question: What’s the one thing you can do that would make a difference in your multiple overwhelmings at this very moment?
In her next development of the notion of multiple overwhelmings Nicola Slee flags up six understandable but inadequate responses to negative experiences of being caught up or swept along by unwelcome events. This blog reflects upon them in the context of the coronavirus outbreak. 1. Denial (Masking / Faking / Smiling) Maya Angelou’s poem The Mask describes the survival response that she and other black people practiced in the otherwise overwhelming experience of daily oppression: We wear the mask that grins and lies. It shades our cheeks and hides our eyes. This debt we pay to human guile With torn and bleeding hearts… Perhaps sometimes, for a while, the only immediate hope in the face of overwhelmings is to assume a survival stance. The reality is too overwhelming to bear otherwise. We currently see this in the pained expressions on the face of healthcare professionals battling the effects of Covid-19. But psychotherapeutic theories suggest that ‘faking it to make it through’ cannot be sustained over a longer term if psycho-emotional damage is to be minimised. Nor is outright denial of reality healthy, such as flaunting social-distancing regulations or other ways of carrying on as if it doesn’t matter. 2. Escape Into Addiction Many of us have addictive elements to our personalities. Some addictive behaviour can be healthy, such as running or other regular exercise that releases endorphins to trigger positive feelings and to lower our perception of pain. Other forms of addiction - such as ‘retail therapy’ - are okay in moderation. Others - such as alcohol consumption and comfort eating - can quickly lead to health problems. The prevalence in this part of the world of a ‘Protestant work ethic’ can make us blind to another dangerous addiction that Slee identifies: overwork. She highlights that any addictive response is “a paradoxical one— escaping the overwhelmings by retreating into a compensatory overwhelming, trying to overwhelm the overwhelmings by an all-absorbing, totalizing habit which may succeed in blotting out the more profound overwhelmings, at least temporarily, but only at the cost of feeding and multiplying a hunger that is out of control”. 3. Anger, aggression and violence Whenever we witness social or collective overwhelmings (e.g. the Great Depression, defeat in war, etc) we often see scapegoating emerging. Individuals or groups are identified as being responsible for the ills suffered and violence can frequently ensue. In the present pandemic racist undercurrents have been reported in some peoples’ responses. As Slee observes: “I defend my own uncertain ground by attacking those I perceive as threats to it”. Gavin Dingwell and Tim Hillier have written a book with the provocative title: Blamestorming, Blamemongers and Scapegoats. Although predominantly containing observations on the criminal justice system, it insightfully highlights the tendency to seek to blame others when faced with seemingly intractable social ills. It is an unhealthy way of coping with some overwhelmings. 4. Reductionism Appealing as the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) principle may be, OD practitioners know that the ability to recognise and creatively respond to complexity is absolutely vital at all levels of life: personal, social and organisational. We live in an age that is increasingly complex yet has seen a growing suspicion and dismissal of ‘experts’ and ‘specialists’ (some of it justifiable). There is a danger in this that one dimensional depictions, alongside popular, simple and simplistic solutions, prevail with dangerous consequences. 5. Omnicompetence Some social commentators have observed that pandemics are one of those events that periodically remind human beings of our fragility. Despite all our technological advances (which we are immensely grateful for at times such as these) and established socio-economic systems, something so small that it cannot be seen in an optical microscope can still bring immense suffering and the threat of an economic crisis. By sheer willpower and ingenuity human beings have achieved great things but, as the ancient myths remind us, hubris easily usurps humility with tragic outcomes. 6. Despair Whilst workers in the nineteenth century predominantly suffered from physical industrial diseases, for those in the twenty-first century mental ill-health is as great an issue. Long before Covid-19, the multiple overwhelmings many people experienced in their daily life had become detrimental to their psycho-emotional well-being. Many now have limited levels of social support and live with heightened anxiety in lockdown conditions. Question: Which of these responses describe your ways of dealing with overwhelmings and how do they serve or fail you?
Overwhelmings come in many different forms. The theologian Nicola Slee, developing and contextualising David Ford’s thinking, highlights six to consider. We share some of our own experiences of these forms of overwhelming: Personal and Domestic The stuff of daily life, the maintaining of relationships and the dramas inherent in that. For us (Julie and David) the last eight months has seen us move home twice (including two offices) so as to now be closer to our toddler grandson. The delight of being able to be regularly involved in his life is a positive overwhelming. A close family member had a major operation in January and came for many weeks to convalesce with us with all the drama that involved. In the background all the time are health concerns around our elderly mothers. It feels at times we are pulled in multiple generational directions! Professional The pressures and expectations of colleagues and customers, the complexity of work life. Independent consultants often feel the “feast or famine’ anxiety of either being overwhelmed by multiple business demands or worrying about future work (now exacerbated by Covid-19). Whenever either of us have worked internally in organisations we have experienced how issues of job security, an increasing ‘do more with less’ mentality or dysfunctional organisational politics can be overwhelming, especially in their wicked interplay. Political The divisions in society, the political discourses taking place and their impact on relationships. Whichever side of the divide you find yourself, Brexit has overwhelmingly changed the feel of UK politics which has impacted down to a domestic and personal level. Its aftershock and the tone of subsequent political discourse has left members of families and social networks bewildered towards one another, it certainly has in our case. (As we write this, news alerts on our phones have informed us PM Boris Johnson has gone into intensive care due to the coronavirus, reminding us of the indiscriminate nature of this threat that pays no heed to status or class.) Historical The anniversaries of social and political events and all that they evoke. We have found it curious that it is almost 100 years ago that the so-called Spanish Flu pandemic ceased. Commentators have frequently referred to this historical event that killed somewhere between 17 to 50 million people. In recent US reports on the Covid-19 pandemic references were made it being a ‘Pearl Harbour’ or ‘9/11’ moment in history. Some years ago we visited Eyam - the plague village in Derbyshire - and walked the streets following the house-to-house path of infection denoted on wall plaques. All these things are evoked powerfully at such times as these. Socio-Cultural The forces of global change, the technological and scientific advances, shifts in power and disruptions. Mass displacement of people due to war or famine has been something that has concerned us for many years. Likewise and related are issues of global justice. We have reflected during these current relatively moderate inconveniences (for us) of social restrictions how much worse daily life is for many people the world over whether or not there is a pandemic. One estimate suggests that globally 790 million people have no access to safe water and 1.8 billion are living without adequate sanitation. These challenges can feel overwhelming. Cosmic / Ecological Changes in ecosystems, climates, species and shifts in the nature of planetary existence. Whilst the threat of the coronavirus is immediate, Greta Thunberg’s passion and conviction has also reminded many of us that, for future generations especially, there is an even greater threat to their well-being, possibly even existence (see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVlRompc1yE). As grandparents this is a daunting prospect, particularly as for much of our life we lived in blissful ignorance of this threat. The thought of leaving behind a devastated eco-system fills us with dread. Reflection: Using these categories (as well as any others you can think of), map out your own multiple overwhelmings in their multiplicity and interconnectedness, if not in their actual detail.
In our fast paced and complex world it is unsurprising that even the most competent of people sometimes feel overwhelmed. As David Ford, a leading theologian, points out in his book The Shape of Living (1997) - this is normal. Even before the coronavirus pandemic, many of you may have felt on the edge of something(s) that had the power to stop you in your tracks. Overwhelmings can be positive or negative. Those who have witnessed the Thursday night neighbourhood applause in the UK for the NHS and other frontline workers will most likely have sensed a positive overwhelming. We certainly felt deeply moved. In this opening blog on 'multiple overwhelmings' let's begin with some definition of the notion that we are writing about. The following is condensed from a paper of Nicola Slee on the subject (https://doi.org/10.1080/1756073X.2016.1275466) : The experience of being overwhelmed, whether positive or negative, is being caught up, carried along, bowled over, by some thing – person, event, natural force – over which one has no control or choice. It's a pervasive tantalising experience which fills the whole person and/or community. Every aspect of mind, body, emotions and consciousness is pervaded. There is a sense of enormity, of existential dread/wonder – not of a particular thing, but of the nature and force of existence itself – which can be either paralysing or energising, terrifying or joyful. Question: So what are the specifics of your overwhelmings right now? (Try and identify positive and negative ones in all elements of your life - work and home.)